{echoes}

somehow life has brought me to this empty hall
I see pictures of times gone by
mementos of long ago faces sharing a life
who will witness these beautiful ones?
who will witness me?
where has everyone gone?
how is it when I have the most to offer there are the least to receive it?
how has following my heart left the rest as ashes?

It falls through my fingers
soft as velvet yet un-catchable as the wind
no bringing back
no re-forging
you can’t grab ahold of a shadow
and when you try anyway you see the shadow itself was a mirage

my unveiling is happening
love is winning, yet has love won?
loneliness of a life bent towards truth
silence of a cocoon long ago vacated
ruins of a life that once was
whispers down corridors of churches
all long gone
camaraderie lost stings with emptiness
retreating even further down hollow trails
no more carrying the heavy end in order to simply have it
arms swallowed up in disregard better with nothing to hold than holding too much
maybe another hand will reach out to me up ahead
maybe a kindred spirit is still left to find
maybe not, and i’m begging to learn how to accept this island life

betrayed by religion
by those serving in his name
left to find my own way
knowing this singularity is best overall in the right places
but oh how the breaking away aches down deep
no-one to share conversation and tea
no-one to laugh at my inside jokes
covered up in a life of responsibility and love of another kind
maybe one day the pieces of me will all come together
best to walk alone without soul sisters than to tire out from all the incessant trying

finding solid ground to stand on
I will keep being me no matter what it costs me
loneliness is really a small price
I must forge a new path
accept a different sort of existence
embrace the love that has found me as I stumbled upon it
for there is no lack of love now,
rather a new world I’ve been born into
I must grieve the forgotten ties
breathe in the grace swirling about me even now
beauty is still beauty even without much of an audience
love is still love even without affirmation and acknowledgement
I am still me even without
all the former crutches
I am finding perseverance to be a friend
hope as a confidant
beauty as a comforter
love as a healing balm

maybe these empty halls aren’t really so empty after all
I hear echoes up ahead of a new life calling my name

{h.w.}

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