{Catch Me}
i hear the pouring rain outside my window
i want to go out and stand in it
feel the water hit my skin
i need to feel something good
something that might masquerade the falling
something that would feed my soul a nourishing meal
i’m starved
out of touch
out of reach
desperate to be touched by God
heard by God
spoken to by God
hungry to feel his love
tired of love being stuffed in boxes and checks
who is this madman who is wild and dangerous and created it all?
how can i be free of my own unintentional small places i have pushed him into?
he seems so unknowable
unreachable
untouchable
i cannot let go of him even when i scream to
everything is loosening
yet my throat tightens as it all slips away
can i bear this awakening?
will i survive the birthing?
will the pruning break me completely?
this long-winded wounding seems cruel
yet i wonder if its more about rearranging and revamping than it is about pain
the draining of a wound so healing can find its way in
i am told it is necessary
that it is good
that integration will come
more more more
there will be more
oh creator be merciful
i need gentleness in the bending
kindness in the tearing away
sweet whispers in the mending
catch me
hold me
teach me to know it is you
{Hope Wood © 2014}
Hope, this post is like the rain itself. There is a weeping softness in it that I find encouraging. Wishing you well on a journey that can feel so very slow.
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thank you sweet lady xo
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This is powerful writing, Hope. It reminds me a little of experiences in my life back in 2008/2009. I am a prodigal daughter, so it was gods and idols smashing to smithereens and I thought I was quite literally losing the breath in my lungs. All of this identity I had been encased in in the far-off country was being ripped from me and I was scared, angry and didn’t know God loved. I come from a childhood of external behavior modification for God’s sake. I thought He really must have been disappointed in me to be doing such a work. But…I am freer today than I was. I didn’t know I was in chains. He did. What a journey! To lose so much of what was false, including my view of God, and still be standing today is amazing. I wobble and I limp, but I’m here. Thank you for such poignant words today.
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Thank you for your words Becky, they are so encouraging to hear 🙂
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Wow, Hope – you seriously have a way with imagery. I just loved this!
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Thank you Jennifer!
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