{To Be in this Place}

this place of not-knowing


deafening quiet

am i imagining a presence?

am i creating something or someone that really isn’t there?

a thousand pins drop

i hear them all

i don’t hear him anymore

shuffling back and forth between realities

the one where he was there all the time

now the one where i am trying to believe he really exists


all the choruses

swaying to the music

mustering up courage to admit there is no faith to match it

a mirage in the desert

an oasis in the middle of nowhere

which one is it?


a mess of a life

beauty bursts onto the scene everyday

yin and yang

there is both

chaos and beauty intertwined


the faith that condemns i cannot swallow anymore

the feigned love that stomps out the life in their eyes

i will not stay in that camp anymore

where do i go?

who will be there?

is there anyone who will embrace me for who i really am?

when will the day come that i can speak and be simply me?

what is it to be?


i scream and no one hears me

maybe no sound is really made

maybe i am only talking to myself

tendrils grab me and try to take me down

life is worth living

no darkness or light will convince me otherwise


i am pierced

staggering aloneness

disoriented about where to step now

yet to be in this place

i breathe

i love

i look up

i look within

i embrace

i smile

i step out to do the next thing i know to do

i am here

this is what it means to be.

{Hope Wood © 2014}


>>>Linking up with REAL TALK TUESDAY on the question of “What it Means to Be“<<<

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