A tight surrounding circle
It clenches me unrelentingly
I try to push it down
To push it out of existence
My body still can’t accept
It can’t let go of you

Somehow there’s still a physical representation of your leaving
In my skin
On my belly
It reaches for you with an uncomfortable tension

I need to birth this emotional and physical tightness
It needs to come forth
It needs release

Is it grief balled up hard and hanging on unbidden?
I don’t want it here anymore
I’m wasting away from the weight of it
The strain and tugging are strangling me
I must deliver this emotional stillbirth
I must convince my body that this grasping won’t undo death
That I have you outside of time and space

My body must forgive itself

My soul must forgive itself as well

This spiritual miscarriage

How can this release come?
What will cut through the tension?
What will untie the knots of years?

It’s you
It’s her
It’s him
Or the lack of all the above…

{Hope Wood © 2014}

>>>Link up about “Why Story Matters” at Real Talk Tuesday. My daughter’s very brief life here matters, her story matters.<<<

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